We worry about the people we love. We share our wisdom, sometimes even in lecture form. If that fails, we make rules. We do everything we can to help our child, our brother, our spouse, our friend. In the end our loved ones make their own decisions. We cannot make another person choose wisely. Even though we see the pit yawning ahead, we cannot force another person to turn aside. That’s tough, because we’re left to watch the disaster happen.
What does our faith have to say to us when we feel powerless to save or rescue our loved ones? In her book of daily reflections, Glimpses of Grace, Madeline L’Engle offers this advice: “Our job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.”
I applied this principle to a concern I have with a friend. During my prayer time, I said to God, “Okay, I’m to take care of the possible. What is possible for me in this situation? What can I do for this person?
The answer came immediately. “Love him. You can love him.”
“Of course I can love him,” I responded. “I have loved him since the day he was born. Even today when he is making choices that will bring him pain, I love him. That’s easy, but, my love won’t force him to make good choices.”
Therefore, I applied the second part of Madeline L’Engle’s advice. “Trust God with the impossible.” Of course, I thought. I’ll give him to God. Jesus said, “I will be with you always, even unto the end of time.” (Matthew 28: 20) When I trust God with the impossible, I must let go of my need to bring about my friend’s transformation. God and he will figure it out. And whatever happens I can trust that he is God’s precious child, and God will never abandon him.
Following this principle is a struggle, but when I do, I find peace for my soul.
Power and Water
Power outages are becoming more and more common and lasting longer and longer. For country dwellers, lack of electric power to run our well pump means no water. Yes, we have bottled water available for purchase so our drinking supply is limited only by our dollars, but daily showers don’t happen. Healthy hand washing becomes burdensome at best. Worst of all, toilets don’t flush without water, so we walk or drive to get water and bring it home. After four days, I’m ready to move to a hotel where the electricity works and water is plentiful.
Four days without water, and the plight of those around the world who walk several kilometers to the nearest well for a bucket of water, begins to take on some reality for me. Not just for a few days till the power is restored, but every day of their lives, they are limited to the water in that bucket. The blessing of water, to drink, to wash, to clear away our human waste is beyond measure. Regardless of the trouble and pain that invade our lives, we can be grateful that we have easy access to clean healthy water.
We can derive two “learnings” from that gratitude. First, we need to care for our precious water. At times it feels as if environmentalists are brow beating us with the message – conserve water – care for it – don’t waste it. These last two power outages have jerked me out of my apathy. I need to listen to their wisdom.
Second, God calls us to share our blessings with those who have none. We can and must support nongovernmental organizations that dig wells in far off countries.
Yes, this spring we’ve learned it’s inconvenient to live without electricity, but access to electricity is not essential to human life. Access to water is.
Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (John 7:38 NIV)
Four days without water, and the plight of those around the world who walk several kilometers to the nearest well for a bucket of water, begins to take on some reality for me. Not just for a few days till the power is restored, but every day of their lives, they are limited to the water in that bucket. The blessing of water, to drink, to wash, to clear away our human waste is beyond measure. Regardless of the trouble and pain that invade our lives, we can be grateful that we have easy access to clean healthy water.
We can derive two “learnings” from that gratitude. First, we need to care for our precious water. At times it feels as if environmentalists are brow beating us with the message – conserve water – care for it – don’t waste it. These last two power outages have jerked me out of my apathy. I need to listen to their wisdom.
Second, God calls us to share our blessings with those who have none. We can and must support nongovernmental organizations that dig wells in far off countries.
Yes, this spring we’ve learned it’s inconvenient to live without electricity, but access to electricity is not essential to human life. Access to water is.
Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (John 7:38 NIV)
Hope
During the month of June, high school students say “I hope I pass my exams” or “I hope I get that eighty average I need.” Worried parents hope their child will make the right choices in life. The unemployed hope this next interview will result in a job offer.
Psychologists tells us, Hope is essential for the human Spirit. When we lose all hope, suicide becomes a welcome escape. As a Christian, I place my hope in God. Over the years, I have developed a four step process that carries me through difficult situations.
1. Prepare – Research, study, get ready for life’s tasks
2. Pray – Thank God for this opportunity, no matter how difficult. Ask
God for help.
3. Proceed trusting in God and giving my absolute best.
4. Pray – The job done, the experience over, give responsibility for
results to God.
These “Four P’s” give me hope. I’ll never forget my despair, when driving to the home of a couple whose eight year old girl had been killed in an unusual accident. I was overwhelmed. What did I have to offer in the midst of this tragedy? I wanted to run like Jonah in the opposite direction. How could I hope to help these grieving parents. I stopped the car along the road to pray.
“God, my only hope lies in you. You got me into this. You called me to ministry. I’ve had years of training and experience, yet I’m not prepared. Show me what to do and say because I’m lost. I’ll give my best, and my hope is in you. Use my efforts Lord, in Jesus’ name. Amen”
Theologian Henri Nouwen wrote, “Hope is willing to leave unanswered questions unanswered and unknown futures unknown. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows of disappointment and darkness.” (p.60)
In God, there is hope even on the worst or the best of days. For that I am truly grateful.
"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on God’s Grace to be given you … (I Peter 1:13)"
Psychologists tells us, Hope is essential for the human Spirit. When we lose all hope, suicide becomes a welcome escape. As a Christian, I place my hope in God. Over the years, I have developed a four step process that carries me through difficult situations.
1. Prepare – Research, study, get ready for life’s tasks
2. Pray – Thank God for this opportunity, no matter how difficult. Ask
God for help.
3. Proceed trusting in God and giving my absolute best.
4. Pray – The job done, the experience over, give responsibility for
results to God.
These “Four P’s” give me hope. I’ll never forget my despair, when driving to the home of a couple whose eight year old girl had been killed in an unusual accident. I was overwhelmed. What did I have to offer in the midst of this tragedy? I wanted to run like Jonah in the opposite direction. How could I hope to help these grieving parents. I stopped the car along the road to pray.
“God, my only hope lies in you. You got me into this. You called me to ministry. I’ve had years of training and experience, yet I’m not prepared. Show me what to do and say because I’m lost. I’ll give my best, and my hope is in you. Use my efforts Lord, in Jesus’ name. Amen”
Theologian Henri Nouwen wrote, “Hope is willing to leave unanswered questions unanswered and unknown futures unknown. Hope makes you see God’s guiding hand not only in the gentle and pleasant moments but also in the shadows of disappointment and darkness.” (p.60)
In God, there is hope even on the worst or the best of days. For that I am truly grateful.
"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on God’s Grace to be given you … (I Peter 1:13)"
Fathers
Why celebrate Father’s Day, especially in this world where so many families are split? Life experience has taught me much about Dad’s role in the family.
When Dad spends time with his children, they feel loved.
What Dad thinks about something is important.
What Dad does is to be copied.
Even when Dad is supercritical, uninterested, abusive, rejecting, his children continue to hope, to want Dad to care for them, to love them. Social scientists tell us that all too often children grow up to be just like their father. We celebrate Father’s Day because Dads are important.
Some Dads leave the responsibility for faith nurture to Mom. In my work, I have visited many couples to talk about their child’s baptism. All too often Dad would say, “I’m not much for religion. Oh, I believe in God, but the church stuff, that’s my wife’s territory. Talk to her about that.” Dad may not actively work against Mom’s efforts to teach the Christian faith to their children, he is just absent – absent from church on Sunday’s, absent from any discussion of faith. I am never surprised when the child chooses to copy Dad, and turn away from the church or any other visible practice of faith.
We need to remember that Dad’s are an integral part of the family team, whether or not parents are living together. Celebrating “Father” is extremely important. Dad needs to be affirmed in the positive role he can be for his children. Fathers need encouragement and praise. Like Mothers, Dad’s play a pivotal role in their children’s lives.
On Father’s Day and throughout the year, pray for the Dads you know and those you don’t know. Prayer is not magic, but the love you offer will make a difference.
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
(Proverbs 1:8)
When Dad spends time with his children, they feel loved.
What Dad thinks about something is important.
What Dad does is to be copied.
Even when Dad is supercritical, uninterested, abusive, rejecting, his children continue to hope, to want Dad to care for them, to love them. Social scientists tell us that all too often children grow up to be just like their father. We celebrate Father’s Day because Dads are important.
Some Dads leave the responsibility for faith nurture to Mom. In my work, I have visited many couples to talk about their child’s baptism. All too often Dad would say, “I’m not much for religion. Oh, I believe in God, but the church stuff, that’s my wife’s territory. Talk to her about that.” Dad may not actively work against Mom’s efforts to teach the Christian faith to their children, he is just absent – absent from church on Sunday’s, absent from any discussion of faith. I am never surprised when the child chooses to copy Dad, and turn away from the church or any other visible practice of faith.
We need to remember that Dad’s are an integral part of the family team, whether or not parents are living together. Celebrating “Father” is extremely important. Dad needs to be affirmed in the positive role he can be for his children. Fathers need encouragement and praise. Like Mothers, Dad’s play a pivotal role in their children’s lives.
On Father’s Day and throughout the year, pray for the Dads you know and those you don’t know. Prayer is not magic, but the love you offer will make a difference.
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
(Proverbs 1:8)
Sleep
I woke up one morning feeling rested. Wow, I feel good, I thought. I looked at the clock – 6:30 a.m. My body had enjoyed seven and a half hours of rest. I could feel a thank you rising up from within me. What was unusual about this?
I may not be frugal with my money, but I am frugal with my sleep. I seldom am tucked in bed by eleven. Oh, I know I need sleep. It’s just that I usually have stuff to do every evening. When I finally say, that’s enough, I’m not ready to sleep. After my busy day, I deserve some relaxation time, so I surf the net, or play a game, or read. Suddenly it’s midnight or one a.m. Just a few more minutes, I say to myself. I’ll check my emails. Another hour passes.
Science tells me that when my body has sufficient rest, my mind is more alert. In fact, it’s easier to control my weight when I regularly get enough sleep.
Our Bible contains wisdom for living in relationship with self, with others and with God. Sometimes we leave ourselves out of the equation. St. Paul said that our bodies are God’s temples. As such, we need to experience sufficient sleep, maintain a healthy diet, and enjoy regular exercise. We’re not caring for God’s temple if we’re always exhausted. When we value everything and everyone more than ourselves, we can easily ignore our need for sleep. Caring for others, spreading the Good News, doing God’s will is easier when we’re rested. Best of all, sufficient rest means we can serve with a joyful heart, because sleep lifts our spirits. Shakespeare said, “Sleep precious sleep that knits the raveled sleeve of care.”
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)
I may not be frugal with my money, but I am frugal with my sleep. I seldom am tucked in bed by eleven. Oh, I know I need sleep. It’s just that I usually have stuff to do every evening. When I finally say, that’s enough, I’m not ready to sleep. After my busy day, I deserve some relaxation time, so I surf the net, or play a game, or read. Suddenly it’s midnight or one a.m. Just a few more minutes, I say to myself. I’ll check my emails. Another hour passes.
Science tells me that when my body has sufficient rest, my mind is more alert. In fact, it’s easier to control my weight when I regularly get enough sleep.
Our Bible contains wisdom for living in relationship with self, with others and with God. Sometimes we leave ourselves out of the equation. St. Paul said that our bodies are God’s temples. As such, we need to experience sufficient sleep, maintain a healthy diet, and enjoy regular exercise. We’re not caring for God’s temple if we’re always exhausted. When we value everything and everyone more than ourselves, we can easily ignore our need for sleep. Caring for others, spreading the Good News, doing God’s will is easier when we’re rested. Best of all, sufficient rest means we can serve with a joyful heart, because sleep lifts our spirits. Shakespeare said, “Sleep precious sleep that knits the raveled sleeve of care.”
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)
A Great Conversation Starter
Making small talk with strangers is not easy for many of us. When a young adult, the question, “What do you do for a living?” served me very well as a conversation starter. After my ordination to ministry, a problem developed when my question was turned back to me. As a single woman on the dance floor, I would answer, “I’m a United Church Minister.” Conversation stopped altogether. Not only could I see the expression on my dance partner’s face, I could feel his body stiffen, as he pushed me out to arm’s length. As soon as the song ended, he would politely return me to my seat. The judgment was made.
Countless times, I have heard, “You don’t act like a minister. You’re fun. You dance. You’re a regular person. It’s not just ministers/pastors who are judged. If we claim that we go to church regularly, eyes glaze over. We know they’re thinking, “Oh yes. You’re one of those.” Jesus ran into a similar problem. People said to him, “You can’t be a religious person. You have the wrong friends. You have too much fun. You forgive people…
I’ve been ordained for 22 years now, and one thing I’ve learned. When people step past their initial reaction, whatever it is, claiming my faith commitment opens doors. It’s almost as if the person has been waiting to have a conversation deeper than the weather, sports or the current reality show. When I have the courage to claim who I am, and the ability to relax and accept whatever reaction that entails, I often make a new friend, have an opportunity to increase understanding, and sometimes even to share my faith in God. Try it, you will be amazed.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord…” 2 Timothy 1:7-8
Countless times, I have heard, “You don’t act like a minister. You’re fun. You dance. You’re a regular person. It’s not just ministers/pastors who are judged. If we claim that we go to church regularly, eyes glaze over. We know they’re thinking, “Oh yes. You’re one of those.” Jesus ran into a similar problem. People said to him, “You can’t be a religious person. You have the wrong friends. You have too much fun. You forgive people…
I’ve been ordained for 22 years now, and one thing I’ve learned. When people step past their initial reaction, whatever it is, claiming my faith commitment opens doors. It’s almost as if the person has been waiting to have a conversation deeper than the weather, sports or the current reality show. When I have the courage to claim who I am, and the ability to relax and accept whatever reaction that entails, I often make a new friend, have an opportunity to increase understanding, and sometimes even to share my faith in God. Try it, you will be amazed.
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord…” 2 Timothy 1:7-8
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